the mayor- he kills people by cutting off their heads with those giant ceremonial ribbon cutting scissors
cause of death: suicide brought on by influx of notes saying “what about Chris Brown?”
luh dis toothpaste lookin-ass glacier
- "You should hear him pronouncing his r’s like a vagabond."
- "He went to Hawaii for vacation. Hawaii! Like some poor person who got his tax return back.”
- "Yes, but he’s not from the right part of New Haven."
- "He said "I do fantasy football," and I said "I do reality finance."
- "What is that, an Irish name?"
- "She goes around bragging that she’s related to a Kennedy. I told her "Eunice, everybody is related to a Kennedy."
- "He speaks french with all the grace of a Brown student."
I only smoke cigarettes so that in many many years I can calmly go outside and light myself on fire without anyone noticing
dip your hat in the toilet before you go out so it looks like you were really working up a sweat inside
when i was a young boy i would focus on one memory of myself doing nothing and try to imitate me. This is the basis of my life
dream BIG! think of all the things you could have like fancy rugs and blue pens that never run out of ink. think of yourself adorned in leather imitating a cow lay down you’ll have to be the rug while we wait for my rug guy to pull through